deep thoughts | The Zimmer Zoo

Spoiled?

Posted on February 11, 2010 by Nancy

I’ve been asking myself a lot lately if kids can BE spoiled without ACTING spoiled.

I’m pretty sure our kids are spoiled. Do they get everything they ask for? No. But they’re definitely not really wanting for anything. And if they ask for little things that I can accommodate, like chocolate milk, I’m a big push-over and will more than likely get some for them. (Just did that yesterday, in fact.)

Burke and Maggie were also the first grandkids on my side…so that might tell you something about the number of toys we have in our house. Oh, and just as we were ready to get rid of a whole bunch of toys, Logan came along…so we pretty much have every single toy they’ve all ever gotten spread out in our living room. (I really need to do something about that!!)

BUT…my kids are GOOD kids. Do they act like 5-year-olds and a 2-year-old? Absolutely. But we take them out for dinner and actually have a pleasant time. They can sit through a church service and not make a scene (Burke actually sits through the entire service every week – he doesn’t like Sunday School at the moment). Their teachers have all commented on how good they are and how much they enjoy having them in their class – out of the blue, even! They say “please” (sometimes without prompting, even 😉 ) and “Thank you” and they’re learning more about how to be polite kids every day. (We’re currently working on the no-interrupting-when-I’m-talking-with-another-grown-up thing.)

…So, I guess the answer to my question is “yes, kids CAN be spoiled without acting spoiled.” You just have to beat ’em down when they start 😉

Filed under: deep thoughts | Tagged: acting vs being, polite kids, spoiled | 3 Comments »

Is It Just Me?

Posted on January 19, 2010 by Nancy

I’ve had this post formulating in my head for a few days now, and nearly fell off my chair last night when I watched The Big Bang Theory and realized that this may be just me … and Sheldon!

Since I have kids (and a husband who snores like a banshee), I’m often woken up in the middle of the night. When that happens, I lie there and try to convince myself that I don’t have to get up and pee….trying to not think about the sips of water I’ve had before bed. But as soon as the word “pee” materializes in my head it’s over. I can try to convince myself that it’s ridiculous – I just used the bathroom an hour ago, or even just 20 minutes ago (yes, sometimes just 20, shoosh)…but it doesn’t matter. If I don’t get up and use the bathroom, I’m just awake for the next half hour playing games in my head about how I don’t have to go…and then I have to get up anyway.

And forget about it if I actually have to get up to see to one of the kids! As soon as my feet hit the floor it’s like a signal to my bladder. Again, even if I’ve just gone 20 minutes before!! If I’ve fallen to sleep between – it’s over.

Anyone else…?

Filed under: deep thoughts, iijm, me | Tagged: bathroom breaks, head games, middle of the night pee, tiny bladder | 4 Comments »

Is It Just Me?

Posted on January 5, 2010 by Nancy

When watching any sort of movie or TV show (or even just a Victoria’s Secret ad!) where a woman removes some clothing…it’s hard to not notice that the under things always match. Does this truly happen in real life?? Not MINE. I mean, sure – I have bras that match panties…but do they ever end up on my body at the same time? …never on purpose, I can tell you that!

Also – I typically wear a bra more than once before washing it…but (obviously) not panties. Do these ladies buy everything 1 for 1, or do they have 3 or 4 matching panties for every bra they own?

And … what happens if I like the darker or more patterned under things? I can’t wear those under light colored clothing, right? …well, I guess I COULD, but I don’t.

I suppose I DO match…but it’s more that I match my bra to my shirt and my undies to my pants! Lights with light, darks with dark.

Anyone out there who’s always matching?

Filed under: deep thoughts, iijm, me | Tagged: matched set, matching under things | 6 Comments »

Happy New Year!

Posted on January 1, 2010 by Nancy

I’m not really sure that it’s hit that it’s 2010. (Two thousand ten? Two thousand and ten? Twenty ten? Oh Ten?)

All the rage on twitter yesterday was “where were you 10 years ago…” I think that was the year that I’d just had a messy breakup and a friend from work brought me to a kick-butt party where 3 or 4 bands were playing in an old converted barn. Ah, good times. (I say “think” because anything more than about 7 years ago is just a blur and could have happened in any of 3 or 4 surrounding years. Is this a sign I’m getting old??)

Last year, we made a resolution to stay in touch/get back in touch with friends and stop being “parent hermits”. It went well for a while…and then, well…I just get so tired!! My comfy couch calls to me…the recordings from the DVR are there and ready to go…and ya. well. you know.

I think we’ll try the same thing this year. I’m feeling like I’m not in touch with many of my girl friends at all. I suppose part of that is that most of them live in different states! And I’ve met some really, really great people who actually DO live close to me…but do I invite anyone over and make an effort to be a friend? *sigh* no … I guess I don’t. I should do that 🙂 (I think part of it is just feeling like I’m “intruding” on lives that have already, for lack of a better word, started. I mean – some of the people I’ve met have lived here for a while and probably already have their own huge circle of friends, right?)

I suppose I should have some more resolutions – but I’m afraid that I’d just break ’em too quickly (*ahem* diet), so I won’t even write them 😉

I hope everyone has a happy, healthy 2010!!

Filed under: deep thoughts, holiday | Tagged: girl friends, keep in touch, parent hermit, resolutions | 4 Comments »

Helicopter?

Posted on December 17, 2009 by Nancy

Do helicopter parents even know that they hover? I mean…what if *I’M* a helicopter mom? It’s not like my kids’ teachers would tell me…right?

I drop my kids off and pick them up from school. (There is no bus option at this age.) The school does offer a drive-up drop-off option where the teachers will come get your kids out of the car (and at pick-up they’ll bring your kids out to your car), but I prefer to take them in myself. I feel much more connected and like I actually know their teachers (and they know me – which I also think is important). There’s not a lot of individualized communication at this school – no parent/teacher conferences or anything like that. So…I go in, help the kids get settled, chat with a teacher or two – if they’re not too frazzled – and then go. When I go back in to pick the kids up, I sometimes get a quick update. For example, on Tuesday, Maggie didn’t want her picture taken with “Rudolph” at the Holiday party that day … which put her in a funk for the rest of the day. I’m not sure I would have known about that if I hadn’t gone in.

Next year, Burke and Maggie head to Kindergarten where they’ll have the option to take the bus. But I really don’t want them to do that (and luckily, Mike agrees). I think part of it stems from my own hatred of the bus when I was little – well…the 1/4 mile hike to get to the bus stop anyway. That and the fact that my Dad (and then my step-mother) drove us to school. I’m sure that part of it may be that I’m a complete control freak. Part of it is that in MA, there’s a law that kids have to be in booster seats until they’re 8 … are there boosters in buses??

The thing is, I know that I want my kids to have minds of their own (mostly 😉 ) and be able to fight for their own grades and stuff when they get older. (There’s no way I’m going in to argue over grades for one of my kids!) And I want them to be able to make their own decisions – which includes making their own mistakes. I don’t want to “smooth out and mow down all obstacles” for them.

But I don’t want to not be there for them either.

I’m sure there’s a happy medium. I just hope I find it.

Filed under: deep thoughts, kids, me, school | Tagged: helicopter parents, over parenting, parent teacher connection | 5 Comments »

What IS Today??

Posted on November 5, 2009 by Nancy

I swear, since I started working from home full time, I have absolutely no idea what day it is. I used to be able to remember what day it was from what was good on TV that night…now with the DVR, I don’t even need to do that!

Every morning I wake up and think “Okay…today is…?” And then I have to remember if it’s a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday so I can get the kids up and ready for school. And then throughout the day I’m constantly having to remind myself “Today is Monday – Speech class then Drawing class for Burke” Or “Today is Wednesday – Maggie has dance class today.” Or “Today is Thursday – EI day.” or “Today is Friday – EI day for a different kid.”

And I’m always skipping over Sunday for some reason. We’ll be sitting around on a Saturday and I’ll be thinking “Okay – tomorrow is Monday. I have to <fill in whatever happens on Mondays>” And Mike will gently remind me that we have a whole other day to plan around first.

Is part of the problem that I’m not really planning MY days any more? I have to remember all of the kid stuff, but none of mine? Seriously, *MY* day consists of get up, do whatever kid thing is going on, sit in front of the computer, perhaps another kid thing, sit in front of the computer, maybe another kid thing, sit in front of the computer, let the nanny go, try to remember what day it is so that I’ll know if Mike is teaching or coming home at his usual time. heh

Anybody have any tricks for knowing what day it is throughout the whole day? (And yes, I do have a calendar AND a planner…neither seem to help much though.)

Filed under: deep thoughts, me | Tagged: days of the week, what day is it? | 3 Comments »

Drawing Class

Posted on November 3, 2009 by Nancy

Burke is starting to really love his drawing class!! Which is a major load off my mind since it was a REALLY rocky start. I wasn’t going to go into it here, partially because I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, and partially because – if I’m honest – I’m a little embarrassed about it. However, I’ve always been honest here and I do try to document things that have been going on…and now that it seems to be behind us, I’m going to write about it so that perhaps if anyone else runs across a similar issue, it will help them out.

When Burke first started going to his drawing class he would argue with us about going. He did NOT want to go … anything else in the world was better. We were baffled because we know he LOVES coloring and drawing. When we asked him why he didn’t want to go he said it was because he didn’t like his teacher. So I’m racking my brains trying to think of anything she may have done or said to him (I’m usually just sitting out in the hall on a bench when he’s in class)…but I can’t think of anything. So we asked why he doesn’t like her. The answer completely shocked us: “I don’t like her skin.” Not said just once…said whenever he was asked why he didn’t like his drawing class. And said to whoever asked…

Now, if you know Mike or me at all – you know that we are probably two of the most accepting people around. (well. unless I have to tell you something more than once – then all bets are off 😉 ) So, as you can imagine we were at a loss and just couldn’t figure out where this was coming from.

Needless to say, we still had him go to class. And along the way I’d say things like “I really like your teacher – I think she’s beautiful” (she is) or “Your teacher is so nice!” (she is) or “You’re learning so much from your teacher – it’s really great that she shares all of her knowledge with you…” I wanted to address things without making a bigger deal of it than it might have been for him…does that makes sense? You know…the more you push something, the worse it gets.

For the first few weeks it didn’t really seem to be sinking in … until right before last week’s class when I casually mentioned “What if your mommy had darker skin? Would you not like me then?” I could see the wheels turning…and went on with “Or what if someone didn’t want to talk with you because they didn’t like your freckles…wouldn’t that make you sad?” More wheels going in the head and a quick nod … And then it turned out that he was the only one in class for about 10 minutes, so he had his teacher all to himself for a while…

After that class (on a Monday), the entire way home he was trying to negotiate with me to go again on Wednesday LOL! Except … as soon as we hit our driveway he went back to “I don’t like Drawing Class.” I let it drop because it felt different this time…like he didn’t really mean it; he was just trying to see what I’d say.

Yesterday, the whole way home, he was talking about how he really likes drawing class and when these sessions are over at the end of the month he wants to sign up for more!! And he didn’t change his mind once we hit the driveway either. I had tears in my eyes.

I’m going to chalk it up to fear of the unknown…I guess. Although, I know he has friends at school who are all colors of the rainbow. Maybe it’s different when it’s someone of authority? Who knows. I’m just glad that it’s over.

Now – on to the fun stuff where I get to brag! Each week, they study a different artist. (yep, they’re only 4 and know more about various artists than I do at 35…) I don’t remember who it was this week, but it’s someone who studies movement. Burke’s teacher was SO impressed with his drawings this week! She said that he was looking at the artist’s drawings and just “got it” – and she really like his sketch of the guy jumping off the page. 🙂 They do a sketch first and then the ‘real’ drawing goes on ‘real’ paper. (Have I mentioned yet how impressed I am with this class?)

Jumping off the Page

The Final Project

And close-ups:

Filed under: behavior, Burke, deep thoughts | Tagged: a question of color, drawing, drawing movement, overcoming fears | 3 Comments »

Cookbooks

Posted on October 8, 2009 by Nancy

A recent discussion with my twins club got me thinking about cookbooks. Every year, someone from the club decides that creating a club cookbook would be a great idea (I was one of those people about 2 years ago…and then last year, VP, WAC, and I even got together to discuss it.) Life happened and we never actually got around to publishing one, but it was a good conversation.

But what did this recent discussion get me thinking about? Two things.

First: Would people actually purchase a cookbook? In this day and age where millions of recipes are at your fingertips online, would you purchase a cookbook? Perhaps if it were billed as a fundraiser for something I’d support anyway… Don’t get me wrong. I have a ton of cookbooks. There are even a few I crack open from time to time. My favorite one though? A Levenger Circa Junior notebook that I’ve written all of my favorites in. Some from cookbooks I own, some from online, some passed down from my grandmother and Mike’s mom.

Second: Where do these recipes come from? I know…members submit their favorites. But…what about people like me who mostly just use OTHER people’s recipes? Isn’t that, like, copyright infringement or something? I’ve found a few recipes online that I’ve changed around a bit to meet my tastes…does this mean that it’s now my recipe? And what about those that have been passed down from family members..? For all I know, they did the same thing that I did…found their favorites and just wrote ’em all down in one spot.

So…would you purchase a cookbook? Would you contribute to one? And would it be your “own” recipe?

Filed under: deep thoughts | Tagged: cook books, cookbooks, recipe, recipes | 7 Comments »

How DID We Do It?

Posted on September 3, 2009 by Nancy

***I apologize for the lack of flow here…it’s mostly just a brain dump***

Reading posts to my twin mom’s group has been bringing back memories of when Burke and Maggie first came home. I mean – they are sleep-deprived memories, but they’re MINE. 🙂

One of the things that’s being discussed is help when the kids come home from the hospital. This discussion is kicked up every few months or so, and each time I feel like shaking my head. NOT that I think there is anything wrong with getting outside help! Seriously – if you can afford it, and if you have the room in your house, and if it actually helps you out – that’s awesome. But it makes me sad when twin-moms-to-be automatically think they won’t be able to do it by themselves. (Granted, there are ALWAYS situations where it’s more than necessary…perhaps there’s a lot of travel on the spouse’s part…or more surgery needed on mom’s part …who knows.) I’m not here to judge, just sorting through my thoughts 🙂

ANYWAY…eventually the help leaves, right? So … eventually you need to figure out your own schedule and feel out what is going to work for you without all that help…right? I guess my thinking is to do it like a band-aid. Just rip that sucker off and get it over and done with. Some of these new moms are talking about months worth of help! Gah. I don’t think I could stand having a stranger in my house for that long. (But perhaps that’s because I have a bit of a control issue…)

So how DID we do it? We did have help in the form on my family. Both of my sisters lived in the area at the time. My mom came out for a week and my Dad and Step-mom did as well. And while this was awesome (seriously awesome – thank you, thank you) – and while it was probably very necessary while I was recovering from the C-Section – we honestly didn’t really feel like a “family” until all that help was gone.

The other thing that saved us is that the twins were in the NICU for about 2.5 weeks. This time of “adjustment” was kick-a$$. It allowed me to heal while the kids were being taken care of. Since I had a Mom’s Room at the hospital, I was able to be with them as much as I wanted (to the point where the nurses actually told me to get lost and get some sleep before I wouldn’t have the option to!) It meant that Mike and I could get used to the idea of being parents while still being “sheltered” from the harsh truth of no sleep. (Wait…I still don’t think we’re used to that.) The NICU time also helped put the kids on a schedule. Of course, when kids are that young, their schedules are forever changing; but starting out on one really helped.

Hm. So maybe I should just keep my mouth shut…we DID have “outside” help for 2.5 weeks…it just wasn’t at my house. 🙂

Filed under: deep thoughts, me | Tagged: outside help, twins home from the hospital | 4 Comments »

Stuck Up?

Posted on June 22, 2009 by Nancy

When I was in Junior High, my eye sight was checked and sure enough – I needed glasses. As any typical teenager does, I chose not to wear them unless absolutely necessary (like, in class when I couldn’t see the chalk board).

I’m not sure why I felt it necessary to walk around blind – everyone else in my family already had glasses or contact lenses, so it’s not like it was a foreign concept to me…but there you have it.

What did this do to my social life? Not much…except that I know people thought I was stuck up when I didn’t wave to them when they were down the hall. It seriously wasn’t that I was stuck up – I just didn’t SEE you!!

Which brings up another point…now that I actually do wear my glasses (or contacts if I’m feelin’ fancy), there are probably still times when I don’t say “hi!” or wave to people when I see them. Especially when I’m back in my home town for a visit. I’ll see someone I went to school with – or someone’s mom – and think “Oh! That’s so-and-so…I should say ‘hi’ to her!” And then I’ll think, “But what if she doesn’t remember me..?” And then I’ll think “So what, I should do it anyway” …but then the moment has passed and it’s been too long and it’ll feel funny because I didn’t say it RIGHT away… And then I’m thinking “Wait a minute…SHE didn’t say hi to ME. I guess she doesn’t remember me.”

So…think about it. What if the WHOLE WORLD has these thoughts? No one says “hi” to anyone from their ‘former’ life because they’re all afraid that so-and-so won’t remember them.

I say, so what if they don’t? Next time…say “hi” and smile. You don’t have to stop and chat, but who knows? Maybe you’ll be able to catch up with an old friend. If nothing else, you’ve just passed a smile on and possibly made someone’s day.

P.S. If you see me, TOTALLY say “hi” – I’ll remember you 🙂

Filed under: deep thoughts | Tagged: blind, glasses, old friends, say "hi", smile, stuck up | 5 Comments »

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