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Stay-at-Home-What??

Three weeks from today I will officially become a stay-at-home-mom.

WHAT?!

Yep, you read that right. Stay-at-home-mom. 🙂 I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I mean…what do I DO with them all day?? (Especially during the summer…) I’m sure I’ll figure it out, but it’s what’s on my mind right now.

So…what happened? A whole bunch of crazy stuff. You may remember my post about depression. Well, I thought I had it under control, but it turns out that I was wrong. I had slowly slipped back into sleeping a lot (“lunch hours” had turned into nap time), and my work had been suffering. When I realized what had been happening, I was horrified – simultaneously that I’d let myself slip so much at work…and at the realization that I just didn’t really care all that much. Time to head back to the doctor. Meds have been upped and things are getting better now.

The other part of it is that I’ve been feeling guilty about not being around to help the kids with their homework. Both Burke and Maggie have been having…”issues” at school, so I have been feeling like I should be around more. And then I was also feeling guilty if I went to after school activities when I was technically supposed to be working (even though I made up those hours).

SO….two weeks ago I asked to go part time. My boss TRIED, but there’s too much work to do and they can’t hire anyone else, so it was denied.

I chatted with Mike about it and he told me to gather all of my expenses together. He determined that we could handle me leaving completely in 3 months (What?! uhm…okay!). Three months meant we could pay off the last bit of Disney on our credit card and pay for all the summer stuff we want to do. Cool. I was beginning to wrap my brain around “3 months until I stay at home full-time!”

The NEXT DAY our nanny told me she was leaving in a month to go back to school full-time. I texted Mike and he said, “Okay. Tell your boss you’re leaving in a month.” (Uhm…What?! Okay!)

I waited for a day and then chatted with my boss. He took it well (I suppose it wasn’t quite out-of-the-blue for him since I had asked to go part time), and told me that if I changed my mind within the next month, he could reverse everything and I could stay. (So nice!!)

I’m sure there will be growing pains along the way…but bring on the play dates!!

What’s Your Sign?

Last night I attended a “Psychic Party” – a twin mommy friend hosted it and brought in a psychic she’s been seeing for over 18 years. Each person attending received a 15-20 minute individual reading while the rest of the ladies sat around chatting and drinking wine. I’d never had a reading done before (even though I’ve always been curious), so I was super nervous and went in with no expectations. I had also set my mind to view it as entertainment and a fun night out.

Our host mentioned that Ms. Psychic doesn’t tell fortunes, but that she’ll be able to validate things you’ve already been thinking in your head; you probably already know most of the stuff she’ll tell you. Our host also told us that the only thing Ms. Psychic knows about us is that we all have twins.

The way Ms. Psychic works is that she asks your birthday (astrology) and uses tarot cards. I picked my cards and told my birthday and away we went. Most of what she said about my sign I’ve always known … I’m a typical Libra where I like balance in my life. No surprises there.

The rest of this is all jumbled up and I’m sure I can’t remember all of it. I did have a pen and paper, but it was really hard to concentrate on what she was saying and remember to use my pen at the same time.

So…in no particular order:

  • The first cards I picked indicate that I am BIG TIME into family. Family is super, super important to me. And one of the cards meant that I am mated for life and I waited for the right guy to come along (so Mike, you’re stuck with me *grin* ).
  • I will always work because it balances me.
  • My astrology “showed” her that I should be a doctor or a physical therapist; I need to have an occupation where I help people. And that I’ll probably have more schooling in the future …but not for another 5 to 7 years. Learning is important to me.
  • She asked if I worked outside of the home (yes and no; I work full-time, but from home). She said that there’s some opportunity coming up for something outside of the home (could be a volunteer thing, but she thought it might be work related) and that I SHOULD NOT take it because I already do too much and this would upset the fragile balance I have going on right now.
  • She asked about Mike’s work (he’s a scientist) and said that she saw something about his work – definitely work – and something about a foreign country. And not a country with a language she recognized either. This might be travel of some sort…and it will give him the recognition he deserves. It will also prove to be a stabilizing thing.
  • Mike and I work really well together, but I’m the primary caregiver. This doesn’t mean that he’s not FULLY involved…just that I’m primary. (She didn’t go into that any farther).
  • She asked if I had more than just the twins (yes, Logan). She paused and said, “You’re not thinking of having more, right?” (HELL no.) To which she said, “Good. Three is more than enough for you.”
  • She asked for the first name and age of each kid. Maggie LOVES school. She needs more attention though (not wants, NEEDS). And it’s not that she’s not capable, she just needs one-on-one attention. And not from me because she’d drive me crazy. She’ll have an easier time next year based on her teacher. Maggie is also VERY cautious when choosing her friends. She doesn’t make friends lightly and isn’t friends with everyone. This means that she’ll never just run off.
  • Burke does not give off the same vibration (school-wise) as Maggie. He’s much more cautious and keeps to himself and gets things done. He takes his time to get things right.
  • Logan. She said that she’s sees a cherub or something with him…that he either has a super cute haircut or a halo round him or something. And then said, “Thank God for him!” He fits right in with the rest and goes with the flow. He listens even when the other two are blowing me off.
  • Even if they don’t necessarily do it right now, all three kids will always work together as a team.

So…some of this is spot on (OMG, the stuff about Maggie and school!!! We’re working on it…but that’s for another post), and some of it … who knows. I suppose we’ll see. She made me tear up when she was talking about Logan…

It was cool talking with the other moms who were read as well – Ms. Psychic seemed to hit on a lot of things for each of them. (well, all but one…but she admitted that she was pretty closed up.)

It was such a neat experience. It felt like it went by SOOOO quickly, but she packed in a lot of stuff within those 20 minutes. I’d love to do it again some time 🙂

I’m Losing My Mind

No. Really.

While traveling back from Vermont yesterday, Mike started talking about our trip to Colorado that we’ll be taking at the end of the summer. Apparently we’ve been talking about this trip for quite some time and Mike wanted to chat a bit more. I must have looked at him like he had three heads because I had NO memory of these discussions!! None. I wasn’t aware that we were planning to go … good thing I like Colorado (and the people there!!) and I’m actually excited about going! 🙂

Once we started talking about things we wanted to do with the kids, there was a nagging sensation that we had chatted about possibly taking them to the Grand Canyon…and then decided that we didn’t want one of ’em to fall in, so we’ll wait until they’re older for that (LOL!) …but that is seriously the ONLY memory I have of the entire thing. *sigh*

Now that I have it in writing…hopefully it’s sunk in 😉

Here I Am!

Fell off the face of the earth for a few days there. I’m still here!

I had some minor surgery yesterday to remove some “moderately irregular” cells. Honestly, I was more worried about the anesthesia than the actual procedure. I was knocked out for a different procedure 2 years ago and it took a MONTH to get over feeling like I was hovering slightly outside of my own body.

I’m happy to report that I felt like me when I came to yesterday 🙂 And I continue to feel great (although, a little sleepy) today too!

I should have test results in a few days, but I’m not too worried about that either. “Clean Margins” were the words we wanted to hear – and hear them we did!

Now That’s Just Sad.

My legs are sore. Why, you ask? I’ll tell you. Because I’ve been painting.

Yes. Painting.

We’re redoing Maggie’s room (Holy GIRLY – pictures when it’s done)…so I’ve been rollering the walls. Which means squats. My body is not used to squats!!

Conflicted

I could easily do a post about what makes my Monday today. It’s all over the news that Bin Laden was shot and killed last night. And a part of me really wants to do a happy dance about that. He’s been the most hated man in the US since 9/11.

However, I’m saddened. I can understand wanting to celebrate (see above); but the images on the news are frighteningly similar to those you see when there are gatherings overseas celebrating the fall of someone over here. The images we condone. The images that make the US people angry at those overseas.

What must they be thinking of us right now? I’m sure they’re seeing the same images – people in the streets celebrating that one of their leaders has been killed. How is it okay for the US to behave like this when it’s certainly not okay for others to do so? I seriously hope the US is prepared for the retaliation that will certainly be attempted.

So while I’m breathing a bit easier that he’s no longer a threat, I’m not going to be out celebrating in the streets.

I suppose Clarence Darrow sums it up quite nicely:
I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

I Can’t Believe…

…Mike is at the Red Sox game tonight. Yes. You read that right. The Indians fan is at the Sox game. (One of *two* games he’ll head to this year without me!!)

I mean, I can be happy for him (he’s got terrific seats), but sheesh – seems kinda wrong that the Sox fan is at home while the Indians fan is at Fenway. 😉