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How DID We Do It?

***I apologize for the lack of flow here…it’s mostly just a brain dump***

Reading posts to my twin mom’s group has been bringing back memories of when Burke and Maggie first came home. I mean – they are sleep-deprived memories, but they’re MINE. 🙂

One of the things that’s being discussed is help when the kids come home from the hospital. This discussion is kicked up every few months or so, and each time I feel like shaking my head. NOT that I think there is anything wrong with getting outside help! Seriously – if you can afford it, and if you have the room in your house, and if it actually helps you out – that’s awesome. But it makes me sad when twin-moms-to-be automatically think they won’t be able to do it by themselves. (Granted, there are ALWAYS situations where it’s more than necessary…perhaps there’s a lot of travel on the spouse’s part…or more surgery needed on mom’s part …who knows.) I’m not here to judge, just sorting through my thoughts 🙂

ANYWAY…eventually the help leaves, right? So … eventually you need to figure out your own schedule and feel out what is going to work for you without all that help…right? I guess my thinking is to do it like a band-aid. Just rip that sucker off and get it over and done with. Some of these new moms are talking about months worth of help! Gah. I don’t think I could stand having a stranger in my house for that long. (But perhaps that’s because I have a bit of a control issue…)

So how DID we do it? We did have help in the form on my family. Both of my sisters lived in the area at the time. My mom came out for a week and my Dad and Step-mom did as well. And while this was awesome (seriously awesome – thank you, thank you) – and while it was probably very necessary while I was recovering from the C-Section – we honestly didn’t really feel like a “family” until all that help was gone.

The other thing that saved us is that the twins were in the NICU for about 2.5 weeks. This time of “adjustment” was kick-a$$. It allowed me to heal while the kids were being taken care of. Since I had a Mom’s Room at the hospital, I was able to be with them as much as I wanted (to the point where the nurses actually told me to get lost and get some sleep before I wouldn’t have the option to!) It meant that Mike and I could get used to the idea of being parents while still being “sheltered” from the harsh truth of no sleep. (Wait…I still don’t think we’re used to that.) The NICU time also helped put the kids on a schedule. Of course, when kids are that young, their schedules are forever changing; but starting out on one really helped.

Hm. So maybe I should just keep my mouth shut…we DID have “outside” help for 2.5 weeks…it just wasn’t at my house. 🙂

4 Responses

  1. ya, our 2-week NICU stay was a LIFE SAVER! I was on bedrest after I delivered because of my BP. I didn’t get the go ahead to go up and down my stairs freely until the night before the twins came home. And that 4-hour feeding schedule they cam home on – amazing!

  2. yeah, I think there are certain kinds of people who would do well with help, and certain kinds of people it would drive crazy. Like me…I would have lost my mind if someone else was in our house, taking care of the babies! Of course, I’m a complete control freak… 🙂

  3. I’m a control freak but I was glad to have the help – most importantly for someone to talk to during the day after Husband went back to work (and he was working long hours). We worked to get the kids on a schedule and I kept it going after she left. We didn’t have any NICU time so weren’t on a schedule when we came home from the hospital. I totally agree you can do it solo and I could have, I just would have been a crying, overwhelmed mess more often than I ended up being.

  4. I am completely with you. While it was nice to have family close by, I much prefer to do things on my own and just jump in with dealing with it all. I am a bit of a control freak and would never do well with having “help” 24/7 for any number of days.

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