It was bound to happen. I couldn’t hide them from it forever…and now that the twins are in preschool, they’ve been invited to their first non-family birthday party. And I have no idea what to do.
I suppose I should just go ahead and ask the mom who is throwing it, but I thought I’d ask you guys too *grin*
So…I’m thinking that a joint gift from the twins is okay..? As long as it’s a little bit more than if we sent just one kid to the party..? And speaking of that…what’s the acceptable/expected amount we’re SUPPOSED to spend on a gift?
And … at this age, am I expected to stay for the party, or just drop the kids off and bolt? (It’s at the boy’s house.) Do I offer to help? And if I offer to help, what happens if Mike has to work and I need to bring my 1 year old along as well – is that frowned upon?
How long do these things usually last?
Any other wise words of wisdom from all you seasoned moms out there?
Filed under: twins | Tagged: birthday party, what do I do? |
The Zimmer Zoo 
No words of wisdom on the birthday party thing. But I can only imagine that a joint gift would be acceptable.
Thanks for clicking over. It’s amazing that it’s a children’s song isn’t it? I didn’t get it back then, just thought it was funny!
Ok….1) you HAVE to stay. The boys are having their 5 y/o bday party this weekend and parents still go at this age.
2) gift….you can joint gift. I usually don’t. Mostly b/c the boys each want to walk in w/something and I don’t need a huge fight of who is holding what on the way into the party. AND b/c I’d rather the boys get their own gift at their bday party when it’s their turn… that way they feel like it’s their own special day as opposed to everything being shared. I’m all for sharing…but you know what I’m trying to say. I’m very individually-centered when it comes to the boys. I cringe when people still call them “the twins”.
3) Parties usually last about 2 hours at this age depending where it is. The boys’ party this weekend will be 1 and 1/2 hours.
4) Generally we gift about $10-$15….
5) If you go, helping is considered making sure your kid doesn’t kill him/herself or others. You do as much as you want and feel comfortable with. I wouldn’t step in and do dishes or anything. You’re more of a chaperone than anything else.
6) Re: bringing the baby. I’d ask the mom when RSVPing. If a mom asked if she could bring a sibling I would have been fine with it but most moms choose to leave the siblings at home. It gives them one-on-one (or in your case two-on-one) time. You might feel overwhelmed to have all three w/so many other kids.
If you need help w/the baby…email me…I might be able to help you out for a few hours 🙂
You know, I was so ready to answer this guestion. Then I saw Giovanna’s answer. Which is nice because I can save myself a lot of time and just type “DITTO”!
Even though the boys are only 2, I have talked to my SIL about this (her twins are 10). She feels two gifts are best for the same reasons Giovanna states.
Good Luck! Let us know what you decide to do!
I agree with Giovanna. We usually spend $10, and parties typically last 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Bee never wants me to stay with her, but when she had her party last year, a couple of the moms hung around. I was actually glad for the extra hands!
I should mention that friends often complained (when we were in middle school on up) when we gave joint gifts since they had to give us each one…just a multiples point of view.
Aren’t you so very fortunate to have all of these awesome mom bloggers out there for a reference.
Wish I could help you..but this is not my specialty.
When they have classroom party questions…ask away.
Thank goodness you asked this question! We haven’t been to any parties, either, except close friends. I’m planning to stay, and to bring two gifts (for the reasons Gio mentioned).
Haven’t we made birthdays soooo complicated? What happened to a birthday in the backyard with a cake and party hats? Sigh.
But I have two thoughts: you definitely should stay and maybe you can give one gift that has two parts (so everyone can walk in with a gift): like, a book and a some pretty bookmarks; or a Barbie and an outfit; or a coloring book and some crayons and/or markers.
Just thinking here…
I would go myself – I am just too protective to leave my kid with someone I do not know. I would also ask the mom if it is OK to bring baby along. And I would also go with 2 smaller gifts – the kids enjoy to give to a friend themselves.
Unless you’d be okay with Maggie and Burke being given one piece of cake and one goody bag to share, bring two gifts. They definitely don’t have to be anything extravagant, though — one of my son’s favorite gifts that he received at that age was some bubble bath!