We’ve been looking for a new nanny, which means that we’ve been getting lots of answers to the ad I put out there, and to the queries I’ve put out to the various moms groups I belong to.
Along the way, we – of course – request references.
Have you ever really thought about references? I have. It’s always good to hear nice things about the person you’re looking to hire, but …
Who the heck in their right mind would provide a reference that would say bad things? (And if they do, they obviously shouldn’t be hired…) But seriously…if you’ve ever had to give names for someone who would provide a reference for you – did you give a name for someone you knew would provide a terrible one?? Don’t you know at least two people who would say all the right things? Therefore, how accurate can references actually be?
This is why I have mixed feelings about references.
Filed under: deep thoughts | Tagged: references |
The Zimmer Zoo 
I called our nanny’s references. I knew said reference would say good things but she did tip me off (I called after we spoke on the phone but before I met our nanny in person) about what a talker she was. Just mentioned it in passing and she really, really is. But I was prepared and it didn’t annoy me as much as I think it would have if I had been caught unawares.
i have ignored requests for references before, but I have never written a bad one. I think the people asking me realized that since I did not respond, it was not a good idea t pursue my recommendation. Best of luck to you with this. I know how important it is.
I think it’s not difficult to provide two references, but when you’ve got 4 and over, it becomes more difficult. Especially in the work field. However, when putting together a resume, there is that feeling of “if I put 5 references down, does this mean I look cocky and think the world loves me?”
When I picked out my kids daycare, i called every one of the references. (She listed 10, she’d been doing it for awhile).
Ick…this task is very difficult but yet so very important. I would still call references even though I happen to agree with what you saying. But like Mommy Esq. said, you might find something out or read between the lines, etc… My boys are both teenagers now and I don’t have these worries and I may be crossing the line but is it “legal” to request criminal background checks”?? I don’t know. Like you said, references can only shed so much light…..I’m all for those nanny cams 🙂 Good luck!
Ok, memory a bit fuzzy here, but when my twins were 4 mths old and I was looking for my first “nanny” I interviewd a few people. One gave me a funny feeling, and she was hesitant to supply me with references in sitations where she worked with kids, although she said she had. She eventually did give me the name of the day care she worked for, and I called. Glad I did. The owner told me that she really couldn’t be trusted with kids, and that she had lied on several occassions. I can’t remember the details, but I’m glad I called and checked her out! So although one hopes a reference will give “rave reviews” there might be something hiding there….
I used to manage a department and did plenty of hiring/reference checking and you’re right, most people can provide acceptable references and the people who don’t, it’s generally not a shock. But one trick: ask the person providing the reference what the WORST quality is about the applicant. That’s when the truth comes out 🙂 Hopefully it’s just something like Mommy Esq said about talking too much, but it might be something like, “welllllll……she’s always running late”. That question can also help weed out the “fake” references where people just choose their best friend to make up a glowing reference.
Good luck!