The Zimmer Zoo

I started receiving a “glamour” magazine out of the blue (bring it on – I’m not paying for it!) and flipped through it the other day to find an article titled “How to Wear White.” This woman obviously doesn’t have kids. And obviously has no self-image problems!!

So, I thought I’d write my OWN version of How to Wear White.

If you have children

1. Don’t DO IT.
2. If you must ignore rule #1, or if you will be going out without said children, do everything possible – including hugging and kissing said children goodbye – and THEN put on white clothing. Run out the door.

If you have self-image issues

1. Find thicker material. There’s nothing worse than sitting down and having all your *ahem* curves show right THROUGH your filmy, flimsy white shirt.
2. Don’t eat or drink anything that isn’t white. You know that it will end up on you.

Filed under: venting | Tagged: reality |